28-03-2009, 11:55 AM
It all reminds me some of the stargate series, which I watched 2 times. Including the first 10seasons, 3 movies and the atlantis serie. It's awesome. However you somehow managed to make it all sound way more complicated than what I think your games story should be. If your going to stick with this huge story line you will need pictures after each paragraph to help the readers understand it more. And "pipe builders" 
That's so much the "Gate Builders aka Ancients" I suggest you tone down on the parts where you explain all the problems and societies and instead stick with something more stable like a race that wants everybody dead - rather than people being blackmailed etc etc. And regarding this wild hole, is that something you made up or misstyped or is this those wormholes that accidently popped up accross the galaxy? It's a good idea to find unexplored areas. But I also think you should have somewhat a base you start in, and construct a system for the dialing device where you can have some choises of planets to go to and a button to try and attempt contact with a so called wild hole.
Heck I forgotten most what the story was about now, add some images.
That's so much the "Gate Builders aka Ancients" I suggest you tone down on the parts where you explain all the problems and societies and instead stick with something more stable like a race that wants everybody dead - rather than people being blackmailed etc etc. And regarding this wild hole, is that something you made up or misstyped or is this those wormholes that accidently popped up accross the galaxy? It's a good idea to find unexplored areas. But I also think you should have somewhat a base you start in, and construct a system for the dialing device where you can have some choises of planets to go to and a button to try and attempt contact with a so called wild hole. Heck I forgotten most what the story was about now, add some images.