My writing -modified 4/20

[GIAKEN]

You know one truth about this place, it's a haven for the damned to be sent from the safety of a higher cause, which is a place of justice and righteousness. The world is a home of hell, a place containing we humans, to constrain our needs and wants as we do not think, we do not know.

As we go through life, the one drive to live, what is it? What is this sole purpose in our atmosphere? To be among a few of undelivered, or to be one of them? You take sight of what you want, try to grab hold of it, do not let it go. Only betrayals remain left, as these humans surrounded you, take your life, your soul, the only thing you truly have in this God forsaken sea of lies and deceit.

The truth is, human, we are only humans, we have no meaningful thoughts, we are all fools, living blind in our mishaps. Do you think you know? You will be damned, as the rest of this ground, burned among a fire of passion and drive to rid us from our bodies and leave behind these thoughts.

You know the meaning of life? What is the point of trying to know. Statements hide the true questions that have the most meaning, and we are only the listeners and benders of this. Among us is a few that can truly believe, or so we think? There is nobody. We are humans. We do not know.There is a higher power among us, but not with us. If you think you know, you are a victim of this hell.

You think your thoughts are so pure? Who among us can claim this? There is no true good, not at all. What lies inside the good is hidden deep and secure, where it eventually is revealed. Our "good" deeds are only masks of this and we only perceive it to be good. Our lies get us what we want, or so we think we want.

Our actions are only selfish deeds, as we only hide our deceit for ourselves, and our mistakes are letting others know what the true meaning of our existence is. We are nothing, but pupils in the eyes of over-seers, waiting for the end, or so we have constructed with our minds. We are nothing.

Old:
[spoiler]

You know one truth about this place, it's a haven for the damned to be sent from the safety of a higher cause, a place of justice and righteousness. The world is a home of hell, a place containing we humans, to constrain our needs and wants as we do not think, we do not know. As we go through life, the one drive to live, what is it? What is this sole purpose in our atmosphere? To be among a few of undelivered, or to be one of them? You take sight of what you want, try to grab hold of it, do not let it go. Only betrayals remain left, as these humans surrounded you, take your life, your soul, the only thing you truly have in this God forsaken sea of lies and deceit. The truth is, human, we are only humans, we have no meaningful thoughts, we are all fools, living blind in our mishaps. Do you think you know? You will be damned, as the rest of this ground, burned among a fire of passion and drive to rid us from our bodies and leave behind these thoughts. You know the meaning of life? What is the point of trying to know. Statements hide the true questions that have the most meaning, and we are only the listeners and benders of this. Among us is a few that can truly believe, or so we think? There is nobody. We are humans. We do not know. There is a higher power among us, but not with us. If you think you know, you are a victim of this hell. You think your thoughts are so pure? Who among us can claim this? There is no true good, not at all. What lies inside the good is hidden deep and secure, where it eventually comes out. Our "good" deeds are only masks of this and we only perceive it to be good. Our lies get us what we want, or so we think we want. We are nothing. Our actions are only selfish deeds, as we only hide our deceit for ourselves, and our mistakes are letting others know what the true meaning of our existence is.

[/spoiler]

I hope you can get some meaning from this...any help on grammar or wording or whatever?

[Jared]

Is this some kind of poem? if it is i don't agree with the questions you used in it. most of them are common sense.
Also it kinda sounds depressive.

one more thing, shouldn't this go in Off Topic? not ShowOff > Gallery ?

[GIAKEN]

Well this is just a poem type writing I guess? I never really have topics for anything I write...and if you can't make any meaning out of it I'll post an interpretation later. I try to use creative wording to make a hidden meaning sort of.

[GIAKEN]

Thanks for the help. This isn't a poem, it's philosophical. I'm going to read through it, change some words most likely, and do some formatting. Then I'll make an interpretation.

[GIAKEN]

I did some formatting...didn't really modify any of it, except for maybe 1-2 words and added on some stuff to the end. I split it up into paragraphs where I tried to actually end the writing...I thought I was going to end it several times at first, but just kept going on. So I used that as markers as to how I would split this up.

You know one truth about this place, it's a haven for the damned to be sent from the safety of a higher cause, which is a place of justice and righteousness. The world is a home of hell, a place containing we humans, to constrain our needs and wants as we do not think, we do not know.

As we go through life, the one drive to live, what is it? What is this sole purpose in our atmosphere? To be among a few of undelivered, or to be one of them? You take sight of what you want, try to grab hold of it, do not let it go. Only betrayals remain left, as these humans surrounded you, take your life, your soul, the only thing you truly have in this God forsaken sea of lies and deceit.

The truth is, human, we are only humans, we have no meaningful thoughts, we are all fools, living blind in our mishaps. Do you think you know? You will be damned, as the rest of this ground, burned among a fire of passion and drive to rid us from our bodies and leave behind these thoughts.

You know the meaning of life? What is the point of trying to know. Statements hide the true questions that have the most meaning, and we are only the listeners and benders of this. Among us is a few that can truly believe, or so we think? There is nobody. We are humans. We do not know.There is a higher power among us, but not with us. If you think you know, you are a victim of this hell.

You think your thoughts are so pure? Who among us can claim this? There is no true good, not at all. What lies inside the good is hidden deep and secure, where it eventually is revealed. Our "good" deeds are only masks of this and we only perceive it to be good. Our lies get us what we want, or so we think we want.

Our actions are only selfish deeds, as we only hide our deceit for ourselves, and our mistakes are letting others know what the true meaning of our existence is. We are nothing, but pupils in the eyes of over-seers, waiting for the end, or so we have constructed with our minds. We are nothing.

I don't know if I can interpret this...my explanations of each paragraph ends up being longer than the initial paragraph. So if you need help with a certain part, I'll try to explain.

[GIAKEN]

Well it's reality (and some opinions) with a bit of a dark view just to be creative...I don't actually think of this all the time, but when I wrote this I was really upset about something that happened (dealing with a girl and what she did, that's the reason behind the piece stating there is no true good, meaning this girl told me some stuff, but it ended up being a lie (which plays into the part about stuff being hidden behind the good), but we talked about it so it's all good). I have my moments where I feel like writing something and just sit and think for hours about words and just start typing something.